by phoolishdreamer

“You’re a good man.”
– worst thing anyone has said about me that was also a bold-faced lie

It’s true. This is worse than when people make fun of my name, although that’s pretty biting as well. Some just say that they do that just because they respect me – which is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life. There’s no respect when you dishonor someone, especially their name. You might as well spit in their face and their mother’s face, then dance on their grandparents’ grave. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, everyone who’s ever done that. Jerks.)

I digress. I don’t consider myself a good man. Okay at best, but never good. Apostle Paul was a good man. Gandhi was a good man. Jesus was the goodest man that ever gooded in the history of goodness. The bar is very high in my book to be good, and for someone to say it even as an innocent compliment, well…

Fairly speaking, I’m a pretty rotten guy (if you can’t tell by the tone of this post). I hate a lot of things, and that’s compounded by my utter disregard for people that choose to do these things. For example, lack of responsibility. I grew up being responsible and upright, so when someone messes up, it’s really irritating. Of course, you should forgive, but if you’re going to keep making that mistake and not really learn, then you deserve whatever you reap.

While I do want to help the disenfranchised, it’s annoying millennials that post outfits of the day and hop on the most fiery bandwagon trend, that really really make me hate humanity altogether. This is a pretty large net that I’m casting, but if they are the future, then the future be damned. Instead of doing something beneficial for your local community or spending time on someone other than yourself (or your friend that has the same doctor for lip collagen implants), you decided to take the human race back a step.

With all this evidence, I should probably just let the world burn. I should backstab as much as the next guy, and focus on myself being… “awesome,” as they say. (I think I vomited a little…) The problem is that with all this malice and discontent inside me, there’s still a moral compass that still points me away from retribution, hatred, and maybe even anger. And when I mean moral compass, I mean Jesus.

And this is where my turmoil boils over. No matter how much I would just like to flip the table and call it a day, I just can’t. I have to give second, fifth, ninth chances (within reason) to people, cause I would want someone to do the same for me, even if I were some sniveling, snide, sneaky, snarky snake in the grass. It’s extremely difficult, and if you think it’s bad, try adding the fact that I’m an idealistic advocate (according to some personality test I took on the Internet – which is also probably a load crap). If I were me, I would not give myself any extra chances.

You’re probably thinking, “You’re blowing this out of proportion.” In a sense, I am, but only because I choose to look at the deeper meanings. Maybe I’m crazy, or maybe everyone else is too dense to think about these things. Maybe I should give some connotation to this statement that started this entire post, but that’s for another day…